Emotional Intelligence: The Key to Unlocking Personal and Social Success
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| Dr. Shreekant Chorghade |
Emotional intelligence (EI) is the skill of understanding, managing, and channeling emotions—yours and others'—to overcome challenges and foster positive outcomes. It’s the secret to navigating workplace dynamics, inspiring teams, and achieving personal and professional success. Remarkably, research shows that 90% of top performers possess high EI, making it a cornerstone of excellence and well-being.
Renowned author and senior pediatrician Dr. Shreekant Chorghade reveals how emotional intelligence enriches personal connections and social interactions, leading to a fuller, happier life.
Q: How would you define emotions?
Dr. Chorghade: Emotions are an evolutionary inheritance from our non-human ancestors, deeply rooted in human history. The term "emotion" comes from the verb "to mote," meaning "to move."
Q: What is Emotional Intelligence (EI)?
Dr. Chorghade: Emotional Intelligence is the ability to understand and navigate both your own emotions and those of others. It’s about making thoughtful decisions and acting in ways that lead to a happy and meaningful life.
"Increasing our ability to identify, understand, manage our emotions and behaviour accordingly is critical to enhancing the overall human experience."
Q: Can you explain the role of emotions in our lives?
Dr. Chorghade: Emotions are our natural survival toolkit, alerting us to dangers, driving action, and shaping every aspect of life. Primary emotions like attachment, anger, and fear serve as the foundation. Attachment draws us closer to people or things that provide security, evolving into feelings like affection or love. In contrast, anger and fear help us respond to threats—anger spurs us to fight, while fear pushes us to flee.
These primary emotions also give rise to complex feelings: attachment grows into attraction or love, offering comfort and connection. Meanwhile, anger and fear evolve into emotions like jealousy, frustration, anxiety, or shyness, which influence behaviors like timidity or stage fright. Emotions are the unseen force guiding our decisions, relationships, and sense of self.
Q: What process governs our behavior?
Dr. Chorghade: Our behavior is shaped by a fascinating system in the brain. The emotional center, located in the midbrain, is like the first responder—it reacts to stimuli from the environment. The controlling center, situated behind the forehead, acts as the decision-maker, stepping in to regulate our reactions as we mature.
For example, imagine someone accidentally bumps into you. Your emotional center might instantly trigger anger. However, your controlling center steps in and evaluates the situation—was it truly intentional, or just an accident? If your controlling center is well-developed, it guides you to respond calmly instead of lashing out.
In children or animals, this controlling center isn’t fully developed yet. That’s why kids might throw tantrums or animals act on instinct—they react immediately, without the "pause and think" mechanism adults often develop.
Q: Are emotions influenced by our genes?
Dr. Chorghade: Genes provide the foundation for emotional development, but it’s the environment that really shapes how we express emotions. Children, like sponges, absorb what they see and experience around them.
For example, if a parent tends to laugh off small mistakes, their child might grow up learning to approach life with humor and resilience. On the other hand, if a parent frequently displays anger or anxiety over minor setbacks, the child may adopt similar reactions.
Think of emotions as seeds planted by genes—how they grow depends on the "soil" of the environment. With nurturing and positive examples, those seeds can flourish into healthy emotional habits.
Q: Why is developing Emotional Intelligence (EI) important?
Dr. Chorghade: Emotional Intelligence is key to enhancing human performance and leading a fulfilling life. Without it, instinctive reactions can lead to self-defeating behaviors—like conflicts in relationships, workplace troubles, substance abuse, or even extreme outcomes like divorces or violence.
Humans thrive on warm, friendly relationships, which are essential for happiness. Building such connections requires mastering the art of tolerance, resilience, and emotional control. High EI equips you with the skills to influence others positively, resolve conflicts, work effectively in teams, adapt to challenges, and show empathy. In short, developing EI not only helps you manage emotions but also lays the foundation for personal and professional success.
Q: How does EI help in building relationships?
Dr. Chorghade: An individual with high EI knows when to offer support and empathy, but also when to step back—avoiding overindulgence, which can cause tension. EI people have a knack for using the right mix of verbal and non-verbal communication, making them approachable and easy to talk to. This emotional intelligence leads to stronger, more positive relationships, where they naturally bring happiness to others while finding joy in making others feel valued and supported.
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